ANIMAL JOKES

Everyone love Animals so that animal jokes, we have most funniest animale jokes and memes. Share your favorite animal joke in comments. Enjoy!!!

Q: What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?

A:You can’t tuna fish.

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?

A: An Investigator

Q: What do you call a bee that lives in America?

A: USB

Q. How do you know when your cat’s done cleaning herself?

A. She’s smoking a cigarette.

Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?

A: A CAT-HAS- TROPHY!

Q: What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?

A: A terrified postman!

Q: What do you call a pile of kittens?

A: a meowntain

Q: When is a lion not a lion?

A: When he turns into his cage!

Q: Why don’t cats like online shopping?

A: They prefer a cat-alogue.

Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money?

A: I’m paw!

Q: Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?

A: She had a litter of mittens.

Q: What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother’s sister?

A: An aunt-eater!

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

A: Kitty Perry

Q: There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

A: None, because they were copycats! Hell yeah I’m a catholic i’ve been addicted to cats my whole life

Q: What do you call a cat in a station wagon?

A: A car-pet

Q: What do tigers wear in bed?

A: Stripey pyjamas!

Q: What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?

A: The purrpatrator.

Q: How do you get a wet pussy?

A: Put it in the shower.

Q: Why did the cat put the letter “M” into the fridge?

A: Because it turns “ice” into “mice”!

Q: What is smarter than a talking cat?

A: A spelling bee!

Q: What is the most breathless thing on television?

A: The Pink Panter Show!

Q: What did the cat say when he lost his toys?

A: you got to be kitten me.

Q: What is a cat’s favourite color?

A: Purrrple!

Q: What do you get if you cross a chick with an alley cat?

A: A peeping tom.

Q: What did the alien say to the cat?

A: Take me to your litter.

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?

A: A sourpuss!

Q: How are tigers like sergeants in the army?

A: They both wear stripes!

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?

A: A stripey sweater!

Q: How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster? 

A: Terrier-fied!

Q: What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?

A: A golden receiver!

Q: What does my dog and my phone have in common?

A: They both have collar I.D.

Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?

A: He stole the show!

Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?

A: A bloodhound!

Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?

A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!

Q: Why did the dog cross the road?

A: To get to the “barking” lot!

Q: What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?

A: Dingo Starr!

Q: What do you get when you cross a race dog with a bumble bee?

A: a Greyhound Buzz.

Q: Why wouldn’t the dog sit on his chair?

A: Because he left his sheet[shit] on there.

Q: What do you call a large dog that meditates?

A: Aware wolf.

Q: Why did the dog need help on his Pros and Cons chart?

A: He was CON-fused!

Q: What do you call a cold dog?

A: A Chilli Dog.

Q: How is a dog and a marine biologist alike?

A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.

Q: What do you call a black Eskimo dog?

A: A dusky husky!

Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?

A: The collie wobbles!

Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog?

A: A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!

Q: When does a dog go “moo”?

A: When it is learning a new language!

Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?

A: Because you can’t bury them in trees!

Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?

A: He was trying to make both ends meet!

Q: What kind of dog chases anything red?

A: A Bulldog.

Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?

A: It barked with de-light!