How To Break Up With Someone You Love In Just 9 Steps
how to break up with someone you love nicely without hurting them
Breaking up relationship advice is sometimes easy to give, but hard to follow. When you’ve just broken up with someone, emotions make it hard to just go on with your life as nothing has happened. “Surviving a breakup” might sound a little dramatic, but when you’re new to the breakup game, that’s what it seems like. Even people who have been through many relationships and the inevitable end of the relationship find it hard to survive the breakup.
Sure, an emotional split in your relationship tends to color the entire relationship and makes you question your self-worth, but that’s a normal human reaction. The important thing is there is a future after you break up and our relationship advice will help you get through the worst times to the new and exciting relationships waiting for you in the future. It can be scary, but change has a lot of advantages, too.
There are some precautions to take while breaking up with someone you love
Talk About It
Talk to your friends and family members about your feelings. This is a time when you can lean on people you trust. The thing is, everyone has been through something similar to what you’re going through right now. They can help you sort through your emotions and talk them over. Mostly, it’s a person to listens to your pain. If you don’t want to hear their advice, tell them politely that you’re not ready for “relationship advice” and you need them to listen.
Your friends and family will help you through this. These are people who love you and people you can trust. Even if they were on the sidelines during your romantic relationship, but they will be there for you and your friendship will grow because of this.
Don’t talk to your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend about this. They can’t be the friend you need, even if you view your ex as your best friend. There are too many complicated feelings for you to confide in the person you just broke up with. As hard as it might be, you’ll have to get used to the fact your ex is not your confidante. That brings me to my next point.
how to Move On after taking a breakup with your girlfriend/boyfriend
Moving on is hard to do. We’ve all been there. All you want to do is dwell on thoughts like “if only” and the “what might have been”, and it’s healthy to think about your ended relationship. You should even evaluate “what went wrong” and how you can grow and mature in your next relationship. But right now is not the time for that, because your emotions will get in the way. Try to take your mind off your breakup as much as you can. Stay active. Don’t isolate yourself and try to “think things through”. That will come later.
When you move on, you come to grips with the fact that your relationship is over. That’s a hard thing to do. If you’re new to the dating game, it will probably seem like the hardest thing you’ve ever done. That’s because you were counting on this relationship and you put a lot of time and love into it. When it ends, you cling to the past. Moving on seems impossible, and it might be for a little while. It gets easier as time goes by.
Even if the two of you got back together, it would not be the same relationship it was. And any new relationship will be different than the one you just came through. But that can be a really good thing. You might not like it at the moment, but you’ll find someone better suited to you.
Can I Start Dating Again?
This is going to sound unthinkable at first. No one else might measure up to your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend at first. Eventually, that will change. The important part is you get into the game sooner rather than later. You don’t have to date seriously. But it’s good for you to get back into a romantic or a dating situation if nothing else to gain a little perspective on your breakup. It’s going to seem weird at first. Maybe you’ll have to go out with several people before you find the right fit. But the more people you meet, the more you can compare your experiences and grow through them.
Start to Make a Change in your life
Another way to get your mind off of things is to challenge yourself to make a change of some sort. Take up a hobby you’ve always wanted to learn something about. Join a club that interests you and you’ve never had time for. This brings fresh new ideas and experiences into your life and opens your mind to the possibilities around you. Most importantly, you get your mind on other things besides the past. Get your body in shape fast and easy with some great home exercises. Taking your mind off your relationship and breakup not only helps you get through the most painful time, but it helps to start the healing process.
You might feel like you’re just going through the motions at first. That’s okay, too. When you break up with someone, life takes on a slightly surreal quality. Something doesn’t seem right. Your mind is adjusting to a new set of circumstances. Your nerves are so agitated that you probably aren’t “thinking straight”, but that changes when you gain a little perspective on the breakup.
When I write that you should make a change, it shouldn’t be something destructive. Don’t ease the pain with alcohol or drugs, because when the effects wear off, you’ll be right back at square one. Eventually, you’ll have to deal with your pain by taking it head-on and coming to grips with what’s happened. That’s how we grow and mature, not by taking up a bad habit. Think self-improvement, not self-destructive. Making a change is about learning to feel good about yourself again. It’s no longer about the “two of you”; it’s just about “you” again. Even making a simple change can help to rebuild your ego and self-esteem.
Don’t Be Embarrassed while breaking with someone you love
Breaking Up TipIt’s natural to feel embarrassed when your relationship breaks up. That goes double if you are the one being broken up with. There’s a natural tendency to think “I screwed up” or “I’m not good enough”, but that’s because personal rejection is so, well, personal.
Don’t take your relationship breakup that way, though. There are a million different reasons that two people aren’t right for one another, and it isn’t necessarily your fault. The thing with a relationship is there are two people in it — two flawed people — and the other person is dealing with their past, their shortcomings, their hopes, their ambitions, and their fears just like you are. No matter how great he or she is, everyone has issues. Everyone has different needs, and sometimes the two of you aren’t the best suited to cope with each other’s needs and issues.
All it takes for people to be wrong for each other is for one person in the relationship to think the two of you are wrong for each other. No matter how close you are, if a relationship isn’t working, there’s a good chance you don’t know everything about that other person and what it is your ex needs. Maybe they don’t know what they want or need, but they just know they are getting it right now. So your ex decides to make a change to see if he or she can get what they want.
So when they say, “It’s not you. It’s me”, take them at their word. Maybe they’re just trying to be nice, but there’s a really good chance that that’s exactly how they feel. And certainly don’t be ashamed to face up to the fact that he or she broke up with you. Just about everybody in this world has faced being broken up within their life. If you start talking to other people about your experience, you’ll probably find out you’re part of the world’s largest club. It hurts, but you’re not a bad person because of it.
Learn From Your Mistakes
People make mistakes all the time. Making a mistake in a relationship takes on a greater significance, because of how personally we identify with our girlfriend or boyfriend, and how close we identify with our relationship. So if you screwed up and that led to the end of a relationship, you’re likely to want to beat yourself up for it.
In many ways, this is the hardest kind of breakup of all. You can point to a legitimate reason that you contributed to the breakup. Learn from your mistake. This is a chance for growth and maturity. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but you aren’t going to do yourself any good taking it out on yourself for what’s happened. Sure, you need to consider the consequences of your actions, but dwelling on them isn’t going to do anyone any good — most of all yourself.
Own up to what you did. If there’s the need for an apology, apologize to your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. Say what you need to say to get across to your ex-partner that you understand you messed up and you feel terrible about it. In the end, though, you’re an imperfect person who will make mistakes. The best you can do is to make sure you don’t repeat the same mistake twice.
Don’t Beg and Plead
if a person has decided to break up with you, don’t plead with them to change their mind. Even if you guilt them into “taking you back”, it’s not going to be a relationship worth having. Romances and relationships work best as a partnership based on mutual attraction, not a relationship built on a false obligation.
And if your pleading doesn’t work, it sinks your self-esteem even lower than otherwise. There are enough emotions involved — sadness, hurt, anger — but pleading and negotiation are more likely to cause your ex-love to lose respect for you. People sometimes break up and get back together, but this is only a positive thing when people do so freely and lovingly, not begrudgingly.
Let your ex know you’re sad or hurt by the breakup. Cry if you need to. Be truthful with them and communicate your feelings. If the two of you have been serious or this is a long-term relationship, he or she has probably gone through soul-searching, anguish, and guilt to get to this point. Respect that decision and you accept the breakup for what it is. Ultimately, you’ll preserve your self-respect and your ex will respect you for it. A clean break is best for you and your ex.
Just Friends Doesn’t Work
Leave the relationship with as few expectations as possible. I always tell people when they’re considering a break up to avoid making any commitments they don’t intend on keeping. Lines like “let’s be friends” or “I view you as a friend” are patronizing and unrealistic, and it’s only going to lead to more hurt feelings. If you don’t intend on calling them, don’t say you’re going to call them.
A clean break is best, so there are no expectations. If both of you continue to have feelings for one another or if those feelings return, then it happens. But when you walk out the door, both of you should expect never to “be friends” or “get back together” again. Get as far away from each other as possible. Setting up the unrealistic expectation that you can go back to being friends as if nothing ever happened just sets you up for more heartache and hurt feelings.
How to Break Up With Someone you love nicely without hurting them
Mastering “how to break up with someone you love ” can be one of the hardest things to do in the world. Breaking up is remarkably easy if you don’t care about the other person’s feelings or public embarrassment. But if you want to break up with your girlfriend the right way, breaking up becomes a whole different set of problems. So here is breakup advice for people wanting to end their relationship and break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend the right way.
If someone broke up with you, or if the two of you had an angry mutual split, a relationship that breaks up can be a devastating experience. But even if you are the one breaking up with someone else, it’s still not a pleasant experience.
Breaking up with other people is a skill that some people never learn. If you end up being in a lot of relationships in your life, “breaking up” is a skill you should master. Learning how to survive a breakup will serve you well because even “good breakups” are uncomfortable and emotionally charged. You can make every effort and you might not be prepared for your girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s reaction.
But if you approach a breakup flippantly or rudely, or you let your anger get the better of you, you can make the end of the relationship much worse. This person can say things that might hurt you or tell secrets that might embarrass you. So do it quickly, do it respectfully and do it well. In the end, you cause the least amount of pain for your ex-partner, and you cause the least amount of angst for yourself.
remember these 7 things when you going to break up with someone you love
Let Him Know First – Let Her Know First
Breaking Up With Someone, One of the most heartbreaking things is to learn you’ve been broken up with someone besides your partner. If you’ve decided to break up with your lover, don’t start telling your mutual friends what your plans are. Sure, you might want to get advice on how to break up, but if there’s a chance it’s going to get back to your girlfriend, don’t bring it up to a third party. It’s a good idea to do it right away.
It’s a sign of disrespect when you let things linger and start telling everyone in town, at work, or at school that you’re breaking up with your partner. You should show them the respect of telling it straight to their face.
Break Up Face-to-Face (no message, no call)
That means no breakup by email, no breakup by text message, and no break up over the phone. Do it face to face, so you can answer any questions they might have and they will know you still care for them enough to look them in the eye and tell them the truth.
Believe me, breaking up isn’t easy. It’s less painful for you to use some electronic device to deliver the news. But that shows a basic disrespect for this person whose feelings you’re supposed to care about. So don’t miss your ex by breaking up electronically.
Also, don’t procrastinate when breaking up with your ex. When you decide to break up, don’t let the relationship linger for days or weeks. You’ll resent having to spend time with someone you don’t want to be in a relationship with, and it will come through in how you treat them. It’s more merciful to end it as quickly and as painlessly for the two of you, as opposed to letting the relationship die a slow death.
Besides, you aren’t being truthful with the person. The sooner you tell him or her that you want out of the relationship, the sooner your ex can get on with life.
Choose a Good Setting
Break up with your girlfriend or boyfriend in an appropriate setting. First of all, don’t break up in public. A restaurant or shopping mall is not the place to break up. You’re setting yourself up for an embarrassing scene. If you break up in a restaurant, you’re likely to set up a crying fit in the middle of the room and a walkout. Break up in a restaurant and get ready to finish the meal by yourself, with everyone wondering why your dining partner just broke into tears and stormed out of the place.
The best place for a breakup is private, neutral ground. That means you should avoid breaking up at your place or theirs. If you break up at her place (or his place), then you create an unpleasant or negative memory for this person in the place they live in every day. That’s bordering on cruel. And if you break up in your place, you’re trapping yourself in an uncomfortable sitting all day and night. Eventually, you may end up having to choose between a long breakup and eventually asking your ex to leave.
So ask to meet somewhere private like a park. The two of you can sit and talk away from others. If either of you has nervous energy, you can walk around in a relatively pleasant setting. She might remember the breakup every time she drives past the park for a while, but that’s not the as having her couch as a reminder.
Be Simple and Honest
Be straightforward and honest when you breaking up with a person. Try to tell your ex your real reasons for breaking up, without trying to lay the blame at their feet. Don’t be cruel, but level with them. Don’t force them to guess why you want to break up.
If you need more time for yourself or with your friends, tell them that. If you have new responsibilities (like a job) or you’re moving away and don’t want a long-distance relationship, be honest. If you don’t think your goals and dreams are the same, tell them as kindly as possible that you just aren’t compatible. Honesty without criticism or cruelty will give them real closure, which is kinder in the end.
Be Firm Breaking Up Tips Don’t break up with someone and then let them change your mind. You’re more likely to be thinking clearly when you sit in private and decide to break up. When you break up, your ex-partner is likely to either start crying, get angry or otherwise lay a guilt trip on you. They might want to negotiate with you or plead with you not to end it. If the guilt you into staying in the relationship, you’re likely to regret it. Pretty soon, you’ll be thinking about how to break up again.
When breaking up with someone, try to have plans later. That way, the two of you don’t sit around all night analyzing where it went wrong, fighting about the past, or negotiating over whether you’ll “break up or not”. Having a place to go means there’s a definite end to the breakup conversation. Also, you don’t leave the breakup and go home brood about what just happened.
Prepare for Tears
Breaking up is an emotional thing to do. The two of you have put in a lot of yourself and your time into your relationship. So when it comes time to end your romance, your ex is likely to take the breakup as a rejection of the time you spent together. There are intense emotions at work. The tears are likely to come.
So don’t be freaked out when she (or even he) starts to cry. Be understanding and respectful, but stay firm. Give sympathy, but leave your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend is no doubt that you are ending the relationship. Ultimately, don’t let the tears change your mind, because if you don’t want to be in a relationship with this person, you are doing them no favors staying together with them.
The best “breakup up relationship advice” I can give is to treat the breakup with respect. The other person is unlikely to stay calm, so try to stay as calm as possible. Don’t get drawn into a heated argument or a blame game and don’t try to demean the person you’re breaking up with. If you do all the things I’ve set out, you’ll be breaking up the right way.
And in end I say never disrespect, talk with him/her at kind way, whenever you meet believe me the partner who give breakup they never try to talk to you so, you start the talk at gentle manner & please comment down about your taught/question/story in the comment section if I like your taught/question /story I give you suggestion/answer/right about your story in this blog.
Frequently asked questions
How long after a breakup can you be friends with your ex?
I suggest you wait for a minimum of three months after the breakup because after 90 days feeling starts to vanish .
How can I get over a break-up?
In one line just be busy in your life and work and follow your passion
What happens when two narcissists break up?
Firstly narcissists will try to contact you if you cut off their supply, and they know just what to say to make you come back. So you have to be brutal, and fast. It may be best to break up with them over text also, so they can't manipulate you any further.
How long does heartbreak last after a breakup?
The results after recherche on the 200 people it takes an average of about 3.5 months to heal after a breakup .in divorce, it takes 1 to 1.5 years to heal.
Can you back with your ex?
yes you can back with your ex if you and your ex if you are fall in love again but the second time make sure you bote rise in love.
Why is breaking up so painful?
the main reason why is breaking up so painful is that you think what after happens when your partner goes away from you and questions arise like can I get a second partner or not or anyone support me like him/her but the reality is that God gives you much batter partner just move forward in life.