Advice On Cheating In A Relationship

Having a partner cheat can happen to anyone, whether you’re in a short or long term relationship, married, gay, bisexual, straight, male or female – but no matter what the circumstances, it doesn’t stop it from being extremely painful and completely devastating to have that trust you thought you had, broken.

Advice On Cheating In A Relationship

Today’s world probably makes it slightly easier to cheat on a partner, what with increased social media interaction and phones that you can lock to keep prying eyes out of your business.

Twitter and Facebook are avenues where it is easy to keep cheating a secret, as both of these offer the choice of private messaging and are much easier to hide from a partner than a text message.

There’s also the issue of sexting, where you send suggestive photos and messages to someone.  However, this subject does cause debate as to whether it counts as cheating or not, as there isn’t an actual physical act.  But any sort of betrayal will still cause upset to an oblivious partner.

Signs to look out for with a cheating partner

So, if you suspect that your partner is cheating on you but are not entirely sure, and don’t want to go in all guns blazing, here are some signs to look out for.

Signs to look out for with a cheating partner

A sudden need for privacy – if there are things that the two of you used to share openly and this changes, it might be a sign.  Such as password protecting their phone or computer or hiding phone and credit card bills.

Regular work habits change – staying late after working hours or putting in more time for work related issues could mean they are spending time with someone else.

Secretive phone calls and spending more time on their phone – if your partner leaves the room pretty much every time they take a call, or immediately closes their phone down if you walk past, could be signs that they are trying to hide something from you.

Odd behavior and change in attitude – you know your partner and how they usually behave, so anything that doesn’t seem right about them will stand out to you.

Clothing – we’ve all seen it in soaps and films, a woman smells another woman’s perfume on her partner’s clothes, or the lipstick stains on the shirt collar.

Going straight to the bathroom after getting in – if your other half seems to do this regularly, having a shower or wash as soon as they get on, this could be a sign that they are trying to hide the smells of another person, or they could even be feeling guilty about the act and literally trying to ‘wash it off.

Gut instinct – sometimes you just know, or have a feeling that something isn’t right, and if you can’t shake this, it could mean that there is something going on.  Even if it turns out you’re not being cheated on, this is a sign that there might not be trust in your relationship, which is a whole other issue.

Of course, not all of these signs immediately means that your other half is doing the dirty; stress at work, money problems, etc can all result in a change of behavior – it’s all about looking for the other signs and seeing if it adds up.

How to approach a cheater

How to approach a cheater

If you are convinced that they have cheated you need to make a number of decisions.  Firstly, will you keep it to yourself or confront them?

For most people, keeping that information to themselves is not healthy, and if a partner is going to continue to cheat, this is not something that you can just ignore and hope will go away.

Self-respect plays a big part in this; if you want to try and make it work with your partner then that’s okay, but don’t let them walk all over you and take the mick.

So if you do decide to confront them, timing is everything.  If possible, think about what you’re going to say and how you are going to broach the subject.

Going in shouting, screaming and being aggressive is likely to happen if you haven’t taken the time out to think things through properly, and could even prevent you from finding out the information that you want, such as why they’ve cheated, who with and for how long.

If you have evidence that you know they have been unfaithful, it’s a good idea to have this at hand just in case they try to deny everything – whether it’s a receipt for something or a screenshot of a suggestive conversation.

Also Read -  How To Get Over Someone Cheating On You

What to do when you get cheated on

What to do when you get cheated on

You will know in your heart whether you want to try and save the relationship or not, but approaching your other half could even result in them ending it anyway.  That’s a risk you have to take.

If you have decided that you want it to end it before discussing it with them, it’s probably best to ensure that you sort yourself out first; this will all depend on your circumstances.  For example, if you are living with your partner, you may want to gather all your belongings (or theirs) first so that you can make a swift and easy exit (or tell them to leave!).

If however, you both decide that you do want to stay together and make it work, you’ll both need to make a conscious effort to achieve this.

If you have been cheated on, and you say that you can forgive them then you must stick to your word.  If you’re going to make this work, you can’t be using them cheating as a reason to kick off every time there is an unrelated argument, or they forgot to put the bins out, etc.

Although it might not work for everyone, a therapist specializing in relationships and cheating may benefit the both of you.  Helping the person who has been cheated on to accept what has happened and move on, as well as helping the cheater to find out why they have done it and how they can change their ways.

what to do if you cheated on your partner?

If it is you who have cheated on your partner, there are issues that you need to address, whether it was a one off or an ongoing thing.

Firstly, were you unfaithful because you don’t want to be in the relationship anymore?  If this is the case, you need to end it as soon as possible – it’s not fair to lead your partner on and to make them think that everything is okay.  Chances are, they may have even already started to suspect that there is something wrong anyway.

If you do want to stay with your partner then you need to make the big decision as to whether you confess your infidelity or not.  If you do decide to tell, then there’s no escaping the fact that you’re going to hurt your partner and this may result in them ending things with you straight away, and so you must prepare yourself for this.

You should be ready to accept anything that they say to you and the fact that you may not be able to repair the relationship.

If you and your partner do try and work it out, you must be prepared to prove yourself and that you can be trusted again, which could take a considerably long amount of time.  As mentioned previously, talking to a trained therapist might help the both of you to deal with both sides of cheating.

Watch This Video to get more advice