100+ Jokes Massages, SMS, chats For WhatsApp And Instagram

Jokes Massages

Ladaka (Romantic andaaj mein): jaan dekho,

main tumhaaree julphon ke lie kya laaya hoon......?

ladaki : so sweet...!!

kya lae??

ladaka : joon nikaalane vaali kanghi!!

Aajkal Hit Hindi movies ka sabase mushkil kaam

.

Bina Bed Scene diya movies banana

Reliance ke Jio launch karane ke baad doosari kampaniyo ko 13000 Krore se jyaada ka nukasaan hua,

ye to hona hi kameeno hamaare jaise gareeb logo ka shraap laga he shraap

ladakiyaan bhi Had karti hai Ghar ka kaam kare

2G ki speed se aur

chaat, pakodee aur golgappe khaati hai

4G ki speed se

Duniya vaale poochhate hain : adhoore sapane poore karane ke lie

kya karana chaahie ?

hamaara javaab hai:

Dobaara so jaana chaahie

5-5 saal ke bachche gaate phir rahe hain…

chhoti dress mein bomb lagadi mainu

jab ham 5 saal ke the,

to 1 hi word yaad tha, vahi gaate phirate the

Spidermann, Superman

vafa dhoondhane nikala tha

Gaalib WiFi, mil gaya, to udhar hi baith gaya

Mera DIL gavaah hai, alarm band karane ke baad jitani achchhi neend aati hai utani achchhi neend to raat mein bhi nahi aati

Jb tm angdayi leti ho to mera dm nikal jata hai,

jb tum angdayi leti ho to mera dm nikal jata hai,

wah wah arey thoda deodrant lagane main tera kya jata hai.

wah wah wah

chaahe kitani bhi angrejee seekh lo parantu agar

kutta peechhe pad jaaye to hatt-hatt hee kahana padega

31 December ka nasha agar utar gaya ho to

two-minute ka maun un Bakaron aur Murgon ke lie bhi rakh len,

jo bechaare aapaki khaatir 2019 ka sooraj nahin dekh pae

Girl: Hum Kaha Ja Rahe He..?

Boy: Long Drive Par..!!

Girl: Pahle Kyun Nhi Bataya..?

Boy: Mujhe B Abhi Pata Chala Jub Break Nai Lag rahe

1 night a boy helped a unknown aunty to reach her home.

Aunty: beta, raat bahut ho gayi hai yahi so jao , bittu ke room me.

Boy: nahi aunty, mai yahi hall me so jaunga, Next morning a beautiful girl come with a cup of coffee.

Boy : aap kaun?

Girl : mai bittu aur aap?

Boy: Mai gadha, kutta, ullu ka pattha

Sardar:- Bhai Saheb 2 Ticket Dena,

Cndctor:- 2 Q ?

Sardar:- 1 Kho Jaye To Dusri Kaam Ayegi,

Conductor:- Dono Kho Gayi To ?

Sardar:- Fir Sala Pass Kis Din Kam Aayega

Happu singh poori zindagi so     e rahe..

so     e rahe so     e so     e mar gae,

ki agar meri bahin ke 3 bhai hain,

to mere 2 hi kyon hai? !!

Aaj ka Gyaan

Jitanee marjee english seekh lo…

Sapana to Hindi mein hi aayega

Sach to yah hai ki chaand par kadam rakhane vaale insaan Baahubali the, bas naam ko English mein Translate karake Arm-Strong rakh liya tha

santa london me double store bus me

baitha tha,conductor ne usey uper bhej diya,

santa pehle uper gya fir bhaagta hua

niche aaya aur bola, marwayege kya saale uper to driver hi nahi hai,

Pappu: Maa, mainne sapana dekha ki mera ek paanv zameen par aur doosara aasaman mein hai!

jeeto: beta, aise sapane mat dekha kar; ek hee chaddhi hai, phat jaegi!

Dost: tera history paper kaisa hua?

Pappu: bahut bura, saalon ne mere janm se bhi pahale ke prashan poochh rakhe the

motapa hi ek esi chij hai jise apne se jada

dusre ke paas dekhkar khushi hoti hai

Ghar me jaab khud ki shadi ki charcha hoti hai to lagta hai

jese election ka ticket mil gaya ho Shadi ke wo 2-4 din lagta

hai jese hum chief minister ho gaye ho Aur shadi ke 1 saal 

baad lagta hai jese koi ghotala me fas gaye ho

Kasam se Yaaro 1 sath sare Kaand yaad aa jate hai jab

Papa kahte hai Yaha betho tum se kuch jaruri baat karni hai

Girlfriend ne poocha chahoge kab taak?

Mene V muskura ke kah diya, Meri biwi ko pata na chale tab tak

Teacher: Batao Kangresh ki sthapana kisne ki?

Pappu: patta nahi sir kisne ki, par bisharjan to rahul Gandhi hi karenge

Aaj ka Gyaan: smartphone sarir hai aur internet usski aatma.

sarir chahe nasht bhi ho jaye, aatma naya sarir dharan kar leti hai

Aap chahe kitne hi kabil ban jaao lekin sabji wale se dhaniya aur mirchi muft nahi laa sake to ghar walon ki nazar me aapse jyada nakabil insan koi nahi hai\

Madam-Pappu tumhara es baar Exam result bahut kharaab aaya hai,

kal Papa ko saath lekar aana varnaa

Pappu - varanaa kyaa?

Madam- varna result Facebok par upload kar ke usmen paapa ko Tag kar doongee Pappu achchhaa to main bhi Mummy ko bata doongaa ki meri Madam papa ke friend list men hai

Mobile Smartphone aane se ek achchha kaam to hua.

jab insaan Free hota hai to Mobile chala leta hai.

pahale to naak mein oongali daal-daal kar, naak ki aisi-taisi kar deta hai

rishtedaaron ki sabase badi galatphahami kaaphi dinon se inake ghar nahin gaye hain aaj chalate hain, "varana vo bura maan jaayenge".

Shradh ke din 1 kowa ka

Facebook, Whatsapp status messages-

Abhi to party shuru hue hai...

Patni pati se pura pura din cricket ghuse rahte ho, me Ghar chhod ke ja rahi huPati (commentary ke andaz me): pehli baar kadmo ka behtarin estmaal...sasural se mayke jaati biwi

Teacher Bache-mai kal nahi aauga,

Student -kyu sir? Teacher-meri shadi hai

Bache-sir esa mat kigiye

Teacher -kyo?

Bache-sir app ne hi sikhaya hai Phoolwali-phool bechti hai

Sabjiwali - sabji bechti ha to Gharwali-ghar nahi bechagi

sadme se mar gaya usi wakt 1 marij jaab doctor ne kaha ki....

Daal ka pani piya karo

Bharat me bhukamp se sabse jada Prabhavit Hone Wale chetra

Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp!

Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp!

Shart lagi thi duniya ki khushi 3 words me likhne ki wo kitab dudne lage mene " biwi mayke gayi" likh diya

jab baarat road pe naach rahi hoti to kuch Chacha, Moasa, Mama log hath hila hila kar traffic ka sanchalan ese karte hai mano pichle janam me wo pandu hawaldaar the

Aaj Ka Vichar Jitna Gaur Se log takkrane ke baad 1-2 sre ko dekhte hai

utni Gaur Se agar phle dekh le to takkar lage hi nahi

Boy-tumhare papa Aatankwadi hai?

Girl-no why?

Boy-Coz you are Bomb

     .      

ek aisi ladki thi jise main Pyaar karta tha

vaala gaana bajaane par Dulhe ne Band Master ko dhoya

Kid 2 Mom: 20 Rs Dena,

Bahar 1 Garib Ko Dene Hen.

Mom: Kaha Hai Garib?

Kid:Bechra Bahar Dhup Me,

Icecream Bech Raha Hai mummy

Mobile ke night plans ne to hume,

Bhuka maar diya hai dosto,

Jis ghar mein chori k liye jao,

Koi na koi aashiq jag raha hota hai

Husband : Yaar, Main Koi Bhi Kaam Karta Hu,

To Meri Biwi bich me Aa Jati Hai

Friend : Yaar, Tu Truck Chalaa Kar Dekh,Shaayad Qismat Saath De De...!

Try Your Best Luck

Duniya me 2 kaam bahut ache hue

Ek to whatsapp aane se pehle study complete hogyi

aur dusra MAGGI band hone se pehle bachpan nikal gaya

Ek to whatsapp aane se pehle study complete hogyi

aur dusra MAGGI band hone se pehle bachpan nikal gaya

1 ladki roj subah 10 baje per ke daal me beth jati the aur

sHaam ko 6 baje utaar jati thi,

kyu

MBA karke paagal ho gaye the Khud ko Branch Manager samghte the

Natkhatlal: Tum apne saloon me

Rahasmai aur romachk books kyu rakhte ho?

Naai: inhe padhker logo ke

Baal khare ho jate hai aur

Mujhe baal katne me aasani hoti h

Common man: Susu jana hai...

1 Famous Shayar- Mchalti hai pet me kuch lahare si

lagta hai enhe kisi kinare ka entzaar hai

"Toilet ek Prem katha" ko Dekhkar aaya Yuvak,

bivi milne ke ummeed mein bana raha hai Toilet

"Child participant rejected after his parents

fail to cry during a singing reality show.

Boy (trying to impress her): Ghar Mein Sabke Kapde Mein hi Press Karta Hun

Jailor To Tailor: 1000 Pants Aur 999 Shirts Silvake Bhej Dena.

Tailor: Jailorsahab Ye Ek Shirt Kam Kyu..?

Jailor- Salmaann Khann Aa Raha Hain Na!

GF 2 BF bahot attitude hai tum me

BF - Attitude to bachpan se Hai

Jab me peda huwa tha

to ded saal mene kisi se baat nahi ki the

Jinte Jildi ladko ko love ho jata hai

utni jaldi ladki ye bhi decide nahi kaar pati hai

Dark lipstick lagani hai ya light

BF 2 GF- girls Love Marriage Q Karti Hai?

Gf: Anjaan Namoona Milne Se To Achaa Hai,

Jaana Pehchana Kamina Mil Jaye

1-2 Vicks vi De Dena Gala Kharab H

Medicine ka naam bhi nahi nikal raha thik se

Shaadi byaah mein pikar zor zor se Naagin Dance karane vaalon par lage pashu vikaas tax

Rahul Gandhi Kehte Hai, Congress Koi Party Nahi, Ek Soch Hai

Aur Vidya Balan Kehti Hai, Jahan Soch Hai, Wahan Shouchalay Hai

Bahut Confusion Hai Bhai Sahab

Santa: are Maa, ek achchi khabar hai . Hum 2 se 3 Ho Gaye Hai!

santa ki Maa: achha jaldi bata , beta Hua hai ya beti?

Santa: are nahi Maa, tumhaari bahu ne Doosri Shaadi karli!

Santa ne ek maachis ki tili jalai woh nahin jali,

doosri jalai who bhi nahin jali, teesri jalai to wo jal gayi,

santa ne use jaldi se bujha diya aur aur bola,

mere kaam ki hai,ise rakh leta hoon

Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi

liya paper aur tasveer aapki bnayi

socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge

magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi

Harbhajan ne apni Biwi se puchha,

Kya main tumhara pehla pyar hoon?

BIWI Boli, "Kar di na sardaro wali baat,

SPINNER ko kabhi opening milti hai

Internet par ladki pataayi,

Internet par ho gayi sagaayi,

Internet par divorce ho gaya,

Isi bahaane computer ka course ho gaya

hamare muqqadar main raaton ki neend nhi hain to kya hua

hum muqqadar ko bhudhu banake din main hi so jaatein hai

Thandi-Thandi hawa chali mausam hua suhana.

wah wah.

BANDAR bhi message pad rahe hai.

kya EDUCATED hua zamana

Salman Ne Rajasthan Mai Mara Hiran

wah wah

Salman Ne Rajasthan Mai Mara Hiran

wah wah

Shahrukh Darr Ke Bola

kkkkk.... kiran

Girls like: Ladka Samjhdar Hona Chahiye, Pagal Main Khud Kar Dungi!

Hindi Movies mein kaam karne ke liye Hindi padhna

aur bolana Anivarya hai, Bollywood mein haahaakaa

Santa police wale se:-sir kal tv ke alawa mere ghar ka sara samaan chori ho gaya.

Policewala:-to tv kyon chori nahin hua?

Santa:-ji sir tv to main dekh raha tha na

Pappu & Chandni ek restaurant pe:

Pappu: Maine last bar puch raha hoon, tum mujhse shadi karogi?

Chandni: Nahi!

Pappu: Soch lo!

Chandni: Keh diya na nahi,

Pappu: Waiter bill alag alag lana

Santa:-agar kabhi neend na aaye to kya karna chahiye.

Banta:-are neend ka intzaar karne se to achcha hai ki so hijana chahiye

Ek chaudhary jungle mein gaya use ek chudail mili aur voh hu hu haha ! karne lagi aur boli main tumhe khaa jaungi to chaudhary bola fir dekh kya rahi hai chipat jaa

"""Sarkari school ke Bachay kisi ko ghaseet kar lay ja rahay tha..

Path mein ek Bujurg ny kaha: Baccho!

Ladkay ko chor do ye khud school chala jaye ga..

Bachay jor se bole:

Babu ji ye shagird nahi, hamara ustad he,

roz school se bhaag jata hai

Santa:-babaji mujhe koi aisa kaam batao jisme log apna kaam khud kare aur paise mujhe de.

Babaji:-tum sulabh shauchalay main naukari kar lo

Santa maisur palace ghoomne gaya.,Tourist guide use bola,

sir is kursi per mat baithiye, ye tipu sultan ki hai Santa bola,

are yaar tum chinta mat karo,wo aaega to main uth jaaunga

Santa:-banta achcha ye batao agar duniya main sabhi moorkh jaldi mar jaae to kya hoga?

Banta:-per tum pahle ye batao ki tumhe marne ki itni jaldi kyon hai

Santa :-kya baat hai aaj tumhaare mobile per bade pyaar bhare message aa rahe hain.

Banta:-kuch nahin yaar,aaj main apni biwi ka mobile utha laya hoon

Santa:-kya aapne hi kal mere ladke ko doobne se bachaya tha.

Banta:-haan haan , per baar baar aap meri taarif mat kariye.

Santa:-achcha to ye bataiye mere ladke ki topi kahan gayi

Doctor: iss dawaa ko ek hafte mein poora karo aur baad me aake milo.

Patient: theek hai doctor

(ek hafte ke baad)

Doctor: dawaa poori kha li thi?

Patient: nahi doctor.

Doctor: kyu nahi?

Patient: usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha band rakhein

Teri Galiyo ke Chakkar Katate Katate

Kutte mere yaar ho gaye

Tu to Hamara na hua,

Hum Kutto ke Sardar Ho Gaye

Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?

Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon

Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.

Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost 1 bottle,

aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.

Santa: Hai.

Frog: Nahin hai

Santa: Hai.

Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well

Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi?

Murad ek larki ko dekh ke bola: Lafz tere geet mere! Gazal koi suna du kya?

Murad se Larki: Haath mere gaal tere! Kaan ke neeche bajaun kya

Pappu bada dukhi tha!

Ek dost ne uss se poocha, Kyu, tension mein ho?

Pappu: Yaar ek dost ko plastic surgery ke liye 3 lakh rupeey diye thay, ab sale ko peehchan nahi pa raha hoon

Rubel: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!

Manik: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.

Rubel: Kya naam hai uska?

Manik: Wo ek Bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha CHAALU KHAATA

Santa : Yaar Main Jis Ladki Ko Chahta tha,Usne shaadi kar li hai.

banta: Tumne Usko Bataya Ki tumhara Chacha Karorepati Hai.

santa: Bataya Tha,tabhi to usne mere chacha se shadi kar li hai

Pappu 2 Dokandar: Is mirror ki kya guarantee hai?

Dokandar: Aap is ko 100 floor se nechay girao, mirror 99 floor tak nahi toote ga.

Pappu: Wah bahut badhiya, pack kar do

What is the biggest lie ever told in a Bollywood movie?

Ans: Zeenat Aman in a bikini singing & asking Kya dekhte ho

and Feroz khan answering: Surat tumhari

Rajnikant ka mobile balconi se gir gya.

Rajnikant niche pahuncha to mobile nhi mila?

kyun? kyun ki Rajnikant mobile se pehle niche pahunch gya

GOLU ne naya Saloon khola.

1 Aadmi Shave karane aaya.

GOLU-Muchhe rakhni hai?

Man-Hai.

GOLU Muchchhe kaat ke- Lo ji rakh lo jaha rakhni hai

Unki Gali Se Gujra To Unke Ghar Ka Chaubara Nazar Aaya

Kuch Der Baad,

Uska Baap Bahar Aa K Bola-

Hath Pair Tod Dunga Jo Dobara Nazar Aaya

Ek sardar barf ka tukda hath me le kar gaur se dekh raha tha.

Kisi ne puchha kya kar rahe ho?

Sardar bola dekh raha hu ye leak kaha se ho raha hai

Girl-Mere Bday pr mujhe bahut costly gift dena

Boy-OK.

On the Bday

boy- ur gift!

Girl- how sweet isme kya hai ?

Boy-PETROL me tale hue PYAAJ ke Pakode

Top 5       shop names

1-Gandhi hair care

2-Malika saree centre

3-Salman marriage beauro

4-Dolly bindra fitness centre

5-Rakhi sawant satsang Kendra

Ek Sarkari Dafttar k board pe likha hua tha: KRIPAYA SHOR NA KAREIN

Kisi ne uske niche likh diya:

VARNA HUM JAAG JAYENGE".

Govt. Office Zindabaad".

Aapko pataa hai ki Popcorn ko garm tave par rakhne par wo uchhalte kyun hai?

Nahi pata

Kabhi khud baith kar dekhna ..

Pata chal jayega

Train mein TT Sadhu se bola : Kahan jana hai?

Sadhu : Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha, Ayodhya

TT : Ticket hai?

Sadhu : Nahin

TT : Chalo

Sadhu : Kahan?

TT : Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha, Jail mein

Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho

Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu

Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai

Santa: Lekin biwi ko nahi pata

Ek ladka school der se jata hai

Principal : Late kyo hue ???

Boy : Bike kharab ho gyi the

Principal : Bus mei nhi aa skte the

Boy : Maine kaha tha sir

par apki beti k nakhre khatam ho tab na

Gaur farmaaiye

Unhone Arz Kiya-

Mehfil me hamare joote kho gaye to ham ghar kaise jayenge??

Mehfil me hamare joote kho gaye to ham ghar kaise jayenge?

kisine kaha-"Aap shayari to shuru kijiye,

itne milenge ki aap gin nahi payenge

Faqir: Madam Bhuka hu,Khuda k naam pr khana dedo

Mam:Khana abi nai bna

Faqir:Facebuk pe BABA Pappu k naam se hu,ban jye to WALL pe post krdena

din Happu Singh bike lekar nikala to raaste mein 1 ladki ja rahi thi.

Happu Singh: kabhi bike chalai hai?

Ladki chup-chaap chalatee rahee.

Happu Singh (phir se): Oye kabhi bikes chalaee hai?

Ladki ne phir koi jawaab nhi diya. Ladki thodi aage gayee to dekha ki Happu ka accident ho gaya hai.

Ladki (Happu se): aur chala le bike.

Happu Singh: kamini, main to isilie poochh raha tha ki agar bikes chalai hai to bata de break kaise lagati hai

Wat r d most powerful 3 words other dan I LOVE U?"

.

.

RESULT AA GAYA!!" Ye 3 words bhi haste khelte insan ki ek pal mein duniya badal sakte hain

Teacher: jeevan kya hai?

Pappu: facebook aur whatsapp se bacha hua samay

Facebook/Whatsapp      ting-Boy: Whats your name?

Girl: Dhara!

Boy: Kaunsi, 144 Ya 145?

Blocked

Love Law: Newton in comedy jokey mood-

Love can neither be created,

Nor be destroyed. Only it can b

transfered from 1 girlfrnd to another girlfrnd,

with some loss of money and time

Log kehte hai ki 40,000/- ka royal paint lagaye to ghar rangeen dikhta he.

Are pagal 100/-ki ROYAL STAG piyo, sara shehar rangeen dikhega

Santa ko chand par bhejne ka faisla hua..

Aadhe raste jakar Santa rocket se kood gaya or chillaya

kamino aaj to amawasya hai, chand to hoga hi nahi

A boy went to a Baba:" Baba meri GF 12 Ghante se Khamosh hai

Baba with an awesome reply

Mere pass Kyun aaye ho, LIMCA book of Records k paas jaao beta

Me- bhaiya samose ache nahi bane aaj, Kal wale ache the.

Shop owner - kya baat kar rahe ho bhaiya, ye Kal wale hi toh hai

Shop owner - kya baat kar rahe ho bhaiya, ye Kal wale hi toh hai

Bohat purani kahawat hai

.

.

Jaise hi yaad ajaegi aapko bhi btadunga

Maine darwaza khola to uski ankho me ansu, chehre par hansi thi,

Sason me aahen, dil me bebasi thi,

Pagli ne pehle nahi bataya ki

Darwaze me uski ungli fasi thi

Santa to doctor: Jab mein sota hu to mere sapne me Live IPL Cricket match aane lagta hai

Doctor: Koi baat nahi ye medicine sone se pehle kha lena

Santa: Kal se khaonga, aaj to final match hai

Ek ladka Dusre Se- Yeh Sukh, Shanti or Sukun kya hota hai ?

Dusra ladka- Pata Nahi Bhai, Mein bhi engineering electronics se ki hai

Insaan apne aap ko sabse jyada INSECURE kab feel karta hai.. ??

.

.

Jab vo kisi aise toilet me baitha ho jisme KUNDI na ho

Pappu ki master se hui ladai

Master ne ki Pappu ki dhulai

Pappu ka garam hua khoon

Gaya kabristan ar kabar pe master ke photo tang k likh diya COMING SOON

Santa se banta ne pocha yhe kiski cycle leke ghum rha hai?

Santa- meri gf ki hai usne di hai

Banta- par kyo di?

Santa usne mujhe garden mai 1 ped ke peche bulya or apne

kapde utar diya or boli jo lena ho lelo mjhe uski cycle

pasnd aa gyi mai ne lele

"Bihar ki gali mai pan ki dukan,

Devdas ne dekhi Paro Ki muskan,

Devdas ne khilaya paro ko pan,

Kha k pan Paro boli ""Shukriya Bhai Jan"

Devdas ne dekhi Paro Ki muskan,

Devdas ne khilaya paro ko pan,

Kha k pan Paro boli "Shukriya Bhai Jan

shaadi se pahle ladke ne ladaki se vaada kiya tha,

main tughe chaand taare doonga

ladki ne shaadi kar li aur unaka ek bachcha ho gaya,

naam rakh diya Tarachand, ise kahate hain praan jaaye par vachan na jaaye.

China cricket kyu nhi khelta??

Kyu k Technical problem hai

Sab k face 1 jaise hote hai

jo out ho jaye woh muh dho k phir se a sakta hai

Tajmahal ko dekh ke bola sahajahan ka pota,

Tajmahal ko dekh ke bola sahajahan ka pota,

Aaj humara bhi bank balance hota,

agar budha ishq mein paglaya na hota

KHUSHI Jab Biwi pregnant ho,

DARR Jab Girlfriend Pregnant ho,

KHAUFF Jab dono Pregnant ho,

HADSA pata chale ki aap dono ke Baap nahi ho

Pehli Jab dekha to Laga Wo Meri Hai

Aankhe Uski Jheel Si Gehri Hain

Izhaar Kar-Kar Ke Thak Gaya

Ab Jaake Jana Ke wo to Behri Hai

Aaj Tum Pe Puri raat Barsat Hogi

Fir Wahi Kadkti Kali Raat Hogi

yaad na Kar Ke Tune Dil Dukhaya Hai Mera

Ja Tere Badan Mein Khujli Sari Raati Hogi

Wo Kehti Hai Rooth Kar Humse

Tumhara To Mel-Jol Mehanga Ho Gaya Hai

Kaun Samjhaye Us Pagli Ko

Ke Petrol Mehenga Ho Gaya Hai

Ek shadi me ek ladka 1 ladki ko bahut dhyan se dekh rha tha

Girl : -- impress hokar -- kyo dekh rhe ho itni der se

Boy-- I was thinking agar aap

meri mummy hoti to,

mai bhi kitna sundar hota

Teacher- prithvee kaa chakkar lagaane waale nae upagrah ka kyaa naam hai? Pappu- Narendr Modi

Girl: We have been together for 5 years. Aage Ka Kya Plan Hai?

Boy: Bas Ab Koi Achhi Si Ladki Dekh Kar Shaadi Kar Lunga

Mom: Beti Shaadi Ke Liye Haan Kar Do, Ladka Shareef Lagta Haii

Passport Pe Thailand Ka Eek Bhi Thappa Nahi Hai

Machar ne eik aadmi ko din main kaat liya

Aadmi: tum to raat main kaat-te ho din main kyun kaata?

Machar: ghar k halaat kharab hain,

overtime kar raha hoon.

Kid: Aunty Mummy Nay cheeni Maangi Hai

Aunty: cheeni Detay Huway,Acha Aur kya kaha Mummy Nay?

Kid: Ager Wo kameeni Na Day, Tou Pinky Aunty say Lay Aana

1 Kunwari Ladki Ko Bacha Ho Gaya.

Uss Ke Baap Ne Poocha Ki Yeh Kiss KaBacha

Hai? 

Ladki : Papa Missed Call to sab He Marte The,

Pata nahi Kis ki call recive ho gayi

Sonu-Yaar,English Me 'Jhopdi' Ko Kya Kehte He

Monu-Hutt

Sonu-Abe,English Aati Nhi To Saaf Saaf Bol Na, hutt hutt kaya bol rahe ho

Eklavya aaj jinda hota to Dronacharya ko kos raha hota,

bina anguthe ka na to usaka Aadhaar Card banta aur nahin Jio ka sim miltI

Pappu ne banti se kaha, "main tere 64 ke 64 daant tod doonga"!

Happy beech mein bola, You Fool"64 nahin 32 daant hote hain"!

Pappu: mujhe pata tha ki too beech mein padega, is lie mainne tere bhi gin lie the

Santa samose wale se: oye tumhare samose me se ladki ka baal nikla hai Somosa wala: Are 5 rupye me puri ladki niklagi kaya

1 Ladki ne 500 metre ki Race me ladko ko aaram se hara diya.

Saheli - tumne ye kaise kiya?

Ladki - Mein Pichhe se skirt uthake bhagi koi aage aaya hi nahi

New smartphone Age student routine...

T.V. - 3 Ghanta, Facebook- 2 Ghanta, Mobile- 6 Ghanta

Girlfriend - 2 Ghanta, Study – Ghanta

Agar bhu nibu kha rahi ho to koi jaruri nahi ki

khushkhbri ho Jmana badal gaya hai ho sakta hai daru utar rahi ho

1 auto wale ki shadi ho rahi thi

jab uski dulhan phero ke wakt uske paas

aakar bethi to wo bola thora aur pass aakar betho

abhi 1 aur beth sakti hai

Girlfriend- Ghar me koi nahi hai aa jao

Boy-Very shocked, abhi abhi to loota hu

tere ghar se

Girl-Sorry, phir se tumhe hi call lag gayi

"4 chije ensan ko kabhi khush nahi rakh sakti

Car, Mobile, T.V. aur biwi

kyuki aksar eske       model dusro ke pass hote hain

Jab Khoobsurat ladki sare kapde utar deti he to kya hota he?"

Car, Mobile, T.V. aur biwi

kyuki aksar eske       model dusro ke pass hote hain

Jab Khoobsurat ladki sare kapde utar deti he to kya hota he?

Almari khali ho jati hai

College me kuchh Madam aissi hoti ki pata hi nahi chalta ki ye ....

college ki faculty hai ya facility!

1 din Pappu ne aag bujhaane ke lie phoonk maari to uska paad nikal gaya! jab doosri baar phoonk maari to, phir se paad nikal gaya!

pappu gusse mein ghumkar bola, "le tu hi bujha le!"

Kehte hai pyaar mein bhukh pyaas sb mit jati hai

To koi ye btae ye couple log KFC aur pizza hut mein garba khelne jate hai KIA

Usne mehandi laga rakhi thi,

Humne uski doli utha rkhi thi,

Humko pata tha ki wo bewafa niklegi,

Isiliye humne uski behen v pta rkhi thi

Laila ke shaddi me lafda ho gaya …

Majnu itna naccha ki langda ho gaya

Mere Dost Tum Bhi Likha Karo Shayari

Tumhara Bhi Meri Tarah Naam Ho Jayega

Jab Tum Par Bhi Padenge Ande Aur Tamatar

To Shaam Ki Sabji Ka Intajaam Ho Jayega

Ghante Girlfriend Ka Wait Krne Ke Baad,

Ghalib Ne Arz Kiya! Inteha Ho Gayi Intezaar Ki,

Inteha Ho Gayi Intezaar Ki,

Ghar Chalta Hu Aasi ki taisi Aise Pyar ki

Santa was going on a bike with his beautiful wife .

Tapori : Sardarji, wife hai ya lover ?

Santa: Saale lover hogi teri, meri to wife hai

Teacher: Beta batao britannia tiger biscuit pe jo green dot hai, uska matlab kya hai?

Student: Sir, iska matlab hai ki Tiger online hai

Teacher ne bache se kaha ek PYAR WALI SHAYARI sunao, to bache ne kaha

Mota marta moti pe, bhuka marta roti pe,

Master ji ki 2 choria, mai hun marta choti pe

Very motivatinal quotes ever written By dear Natkhatlal

Bachpan me Diwali ke din jaab Rocket chorte hue adbhut gayaan mila tha

Aasman chune ke liye bottle bahut jaruri

Teacher -Who is very patient person in world?

Santa- Sunny Leone ka Cameraman

Teacher-Super intelligent student jara mere paas ana

phir kaya teacher de thappar pe thappar

Tinku: 1 Manf0rce Dena.

Dukandaar: Tum To Masterjee K Bete Ho na?

Tinku: Mentos Bola Mentossssssss

Yoga Sir:- Dear students!!

Batao Mai Ek Paav Par Kab Aur.

Kyo Khada Rehta Hu ??

Student:- Nahane Ke Baad Chaddi Pahane Ke Time

Chamali bhabhi ne chaat ki dukan kholi

Dukan khulte hi consumer ki line lag gayi

KyUki Board par lika tha-

Sirf 20 Rupye me chamali Bhabhi ki chaat lòó

50% lovers love-romance kyun nahi kar pate?

1. Girlfriend nahi manti?

2. Seriousness?

3. Dono Raji nahi hote

Ans- room-space hi nahi milta

Mummy-beta paper kesa tha

Beta-Patla saa tha, white colour ka tha

Ladki- Tumhara Mobile iPhone 7 bahut badhiya hai. kitane ka hai?

Ladka- Race mein jeeta hai.

Ladki- kitane log the Race mein?

Ladka- Mobile shop ka maalik, 3 Police vaale aur main

Usne shrmate hue pucha ap khane mein KIA KIA khalete hai..

Meine bhi hns ke keh diya dhoke ke alawa sb kuch

Wo jwaan hoke thodi phuljhadi KIA Hui...

Pura mohalla hi sala machis ho gya hai

baitha ke uski julfon ke saye mein aisa josh aya..

Pir

Pir KIA uske baap ne dekhlia khambhkat seedha ICU mein hosh aya

Zindagi ki pehli kiss lene chla tha aee galib...

Phir ..

Phir KIA.....ussi time bajrang dal wale agye

Santa ke ghar ladki hui .ab use chinta ho gai ki uski beti badi hogi to ladke chedge.

Santa:-per maine iska intzaam kar liya hai.

Banta:-kya?

Santa:-maine apni beti ka naam didi rakh diya hai

Santa :- ek aadmi ki 6 ungliyaan thi. Log use radhe shyam kahte the. Batao kyon?

Banta:-kyon?

Santa:-uska naam radhe shyam tha

Santa:-yaar banta kal mei biwi mere ek dost ke saath bhaag gayi.

Banta:-tujhko to bahot yaad aati hogi uski, phir?

Santa:-haan yaar, bahot achcha dost tha mera

Boy: I love you baby

Girl: I Have already a boyfriend

He: Olx pe bech de

Purana jayega, tabhi to naya aayega

Wife- mere paas proof hai tumhara chakkar parosan ke sath hai

Husband- kaya proof hai batoo??

Wife- Uska husband Kal raat tumhara underwear pahankar aya tha

Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?

Santa: ambuja cement.

Banta: Kyun?

Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai

A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains?

Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao

Pappu: Basanti in kutton ke aage mat naachna!

Santa sitting with his dog in the theater, Saali naachegi kaise nahi, kutte ka bhi ticket jo liya hai

Pappu : Aaj maine apne class ki sabse pyari larki ko phasa li

Sohan : Woh kaisey?

Pappu: class lagi thi, Maine kagaz ka jahaz bana ke Pheinka. Jahaz teacher ke pass chala gaya, Us ne gussey se poocha yeh kiss ne pheinka? Maine us larki ka nam le liya or woh phas gaye bichari

Uski yaad me hume susu lag gaye, aansu hi the pagli bas raste badal gaye

Teacher- tumhe pata h jab me tumhari umar ka tha to mere full marks aaya krte the

Student- peeche se comment krte hue

Student: ate honge, terko koi achha teacher padhat hoga

raat ka samay tha pappu kabristan se cycle chalata hua aaya

kabristan paar krke kaha baap re kaise road thi itne saare speed breakers

tufani andheri raat me 12 baje

kabristan k jungle me

1 bhoot dusre ko samjha raha tha

ghabra mat,sb vahem hai,

koi Rajnikant-vajnikant nai hota"

Train mein Warning likhi thi.....

Bina Ticket safar krne wale Yaatri Hoshiyaar

TiTu- Waah, toh jisne ticket li woh bewkuf

Maa:- kisaka Call tha?

Mai:- 1 dost ka tha maa

maa:- naalayak, Naamuraad ek ladaki nahin pati tujhase abhi tak,

kasam se ye baat chappal se bhi zyaada lagi

Ek bachcha har roz Maths teacher ko phone lagata h

Teacher ki wife-Kitni bar kaha wo mar gye h, bar bar phone kyu krte ho?

Bachcha-Sun k achcha lagta hai

HELLO meri aavaj aa rahi hai, Hello hello?

kya aavaj nhi aa rhi hai?

Ab, ab bhi nahi

Abe dhaKKan ye SMS hai awaz kaha se aayegi

Santa: Pados me kya chal raha hai?

Banta: Birthday hai

Santa: Kiska?

Banta: Tuyu ka

Santa ne puchha: Tuyu! ???

Banta: Haan, sunai to kuchh aisa hi de raha ha-Happy Birthday tuyu

Son came late…

Mom: beta kaha gaya tha..??

Beta: – Mom movie dekhne gaya tha.

Mom: Beta Kaunsi..?

Beta: MAA KI MAMTA

Mom: Ja beta upar ja nayi film lagi hai.

Beta: Maa , kaunsi..?

Maa: BAAP KA KEHAR

Pappu: Dekho Main Chahe Jaisa Bhi Hoon,

Par Baccha Ek Dum Sunder Hona Chahiye,

Wife: Dekho Ji, Choice Is Yours Baccha Yaa

Toh Sunder Hoga Yaa Aap Ka Hoga

Gabbar: Yeh hath mujhe de de thakur,

Thakur: Le Le, mere hath le le, Basanti ke bhi le le,

Jai aur Veeru ke bhi le le, Ramu kaka ke bhi le le

Octopus ban ja Kutteee!!

Gabbar: Sorry yaar, tu to Emotional ho gaya

Santa:-ye chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?

Banta:-aatmhatya karne ke liye.

Santa:-to isme ubaalne ki kya zaroorat hai?

Banta:-are yaar kahin infection na ho jaye

Banta:-santa tere ghar se mujhe hamesha hansne ki aawaz aati rahti hai.

Santa:-are yaar, meri biwi jab mujhe joote se marti hai, agar mujhe lag jaata hai to who hansti hai aur agar nahin lagta to main hansta hoon

single hone ka dukh tab hua, jab Kutte jaise shakal wala dost bola, Thodi der chup ho ja meri girlfriend ka call aa rha hai

arz kia hai, likhe to text tumhe vo teri yaad me, tumne ek bhi na padhe, tum jao bhaad me

agar pyar me paiso ki ahmiyat nhi hoti to, har kahani me ladki ke sapno me koi Rajkumar hi kyu aata hai, kabhi suna hai, mere sapno ka majdoor barat lekr aayega

ek sali apne jija ke sath Milne gayi vo bht baten bna rahi thi to jija bola, kya ham aaj raat pati patni ki tarah gujaar sakte hain, sali sharmate hue boli jaisa ap chaho, jija bola to thik hai ab Mu band kr aur sone de

kabhi bhi kisi ladki ke piche hath dhokar na pade, agar padna hai to mu dhokar pade, shyad kirpa wahi ruki hui hai

agar pathake aur fuljhadi ka naam sunkar tumhe, ladkio ka khayal aata hai to mere bhai, Tum bade hokar jaroor berojgar banoge

aaj papa ke sath bike pe market ja raha tha, galti se muh se nikal gaya, dekh bhai kya maal ja rahi hai, uske baad maine papa se bola ki papa ghar me koot lena market me izat hai meri, par papa ne Wahi koot dia

bhikari ek ladki se: bhagwan ke naam par kuch de do, ladki: kuch nahi hai baba, bhikari: chalo fir mobile number hi dedo

GIRL- Mujhe Kyu Dekh Rahe Ho? Tumhari Koi Behen Nahi Hai Kya?

BOY - Hai IsiLiye To Dekh Raha Hu.

GIRL- Kyu?

BOY - Meri Behen Ko BHABHI Chahiye

Dad:-Beta btao jaan kaha se NikLti hai?

Son:-Khidki se

Dad:-Wo kaise?

Son:-Kal raat ko Didi ek Ldke ko kah rhi thi

Jaan khidki se Nikal jao

sunata hu apne schoop ki premkahani, ek thi topper % ki thi rani...fir...fir kya hamne pata li...aur fail ho gayi maharani.

girlfriend ko apni palko par bitha lo, dekar har khushi usko, apne saare gam Chura lo, pyar karo uski saheli ke saamne itna ki saheli bhi kahe, jaanu muje bhi pata lo

Tum message ki baat karte ho, ham to exam me question seen kar ke Reply nahi karte

sir dard hone par kuch der girlfriend se jaroor baat karen, kyuki zeher hi zeher ko marta hai

Pappu or papa Hotel me gaye, papa ne kaha waiter 1 ice cream lao aur 1 beer, itne me pappu bola, papa Icecream kyu, aap bhi beer lo sharmane wali koi baat nhi hai, Pappu aj us hotel me waiter hai

ek nigro bus me apne bache ke sath ja rha tha, conductor ne kaha itna kala bacha maine ajtk dekha nahi, nigro ne kuch nahi kaha aur seat par mu fula kar bait gya, santa bola, kya hua bhai sahab, nigro bola are yar conductor ne bejti kr di, santa bola, are maar saale ko ja kar, aur ye chimpanji ka bacha muje pakda de, sala katega to nahi na

santa ek mobile company me interview ke lia gaya to par usko pahle hi sawal me bhaga dia, sawal tha, sabse bada network kon sa hai, Santa bola, cartoon Network

santa ek roti khud kha rha tha and ek roti paas baithi murgi ko khila raha tha, banta ne pucha ye kya hai, to santa bola, abe dikhai nhi deta, chicken ke sath roti kha rha hu

santa underwear kharidne dukan gya to dukandar ne usse 300 rs ka underwear dikhaya, santa bola, bhai roj pahan ne wala dikha, party wear nahi chahiye

saas bahu se: kitni bar kaha hai kahi bahar jati hai to mathe me bindi laga kar jaya kar, bahu: Jeans me bindi kon lagata hai maji, saas: maine kab kaha jeans me laga, mathe pr laga bevkoof mathe pr

suno paap dhone hain, konsa sabun acha rahega

ek amir aadmi ne kaha mera Bathroom 10 lakh ka hai, dusre ne kaha mera 20 lakh ka hai, samne raju baitha tha usne kaha mai jis khet pe subha lota lekr jata hu vo 7 crore ka hai

gaon ki gori ke sath ishq me bas ek hi pareshni hai ki, agar romantic ho kar uski gaud pr sar rakh do to vo juen dekhne lagti hai

muje lagta hai mai jyda din nahi ji paunga, sala karwachot ka vrat rakhne wali koi mil hi nahi rahi hai

(ladki) meri har sans par ladke marte hain (Ladka) to bhen toothpaste kia kar na

Jo bee america se ai hai usko kya kahege...Ans- USB

agar hath par tambaku chune ko ghisne se bijli utpan hoti to hamara desh current ki chidia ho jata

sala Ye Iphone kharidne ke lia amazon walo ko credit card or debit card ke sath Kidney wala option bhi rakhna chahiye

na talwar ki dhaar se na goliyon ki bauchaar se, banda darta hau ti sirf baap ki maar se

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